1. The fundamentalist fashion. The wiry beards on the chins of teenage boys from Bradford to Bristol are already looking a bit passé, fellas. Props for predicting the ankle-swinger trend before it became universally fashionable, though.
2. The lack of progression. Ive only been to Pakistan three times, but its clear our native Pakistani brethren are years ahead of us in terms of ideas, fashion and entertainment. Your women wear sleeveless kurtis with jeans, were still in patiala shalwars. Lets use our politicians as a crude metaphor: you have Hina Rabbani Khar, weve got Sayeeda Warsi.
3. The pitiful selection of spouses. Is it just me or are we facing a bit of a crisis here girls? It seems we have a few options. 1. The Cousin 2. The Rudeboy 3. The Mummys Boy who wont leave his postcode 4. The Imam wannabe 5. The Party Animal or 6. A mixture of 4 and 5, depending on which day of the week it is.
4. The need for role models. Apart from the boxer Amir Khan and he really doesnt have universal appeal we have none. Im not talking about successful people here, I mean genuinely famous ones. On the Wikipedia page for List of British Pakistanis our famous ones include a fictional television character, a Michael Jackson impersonator and someone called Nigel Le Vaillant.
5. The outrage at mixed marriages. We arrived in Britain a very long time ago. Aunties, Uncles, larkis and larkas, its natural that a few of us will marry white (or even black) people.
6. The feeling of inadequacy. Although British Pakistanis have formed a strong community of our own, the facts remain unchanged. We will always just be a bunch of BBCDs to real Pakistanis or a load of Pakis to the (far rightish) British people.
7. The invasion of privacy. My father has nicknamed one of my Aunties Radio Pakistan. You might have thought Twitter was the quickest way to spread information/gossip. That is, of course, until you meet this Aunty and many others like her.
8. The expectation that we can all speak Urdu. Jinnah didnt speak it well and desi films have subtitles now, so there are enough excuses not to be fluent. Dont be surprised that to some, Urdu might as well be Swahili.
9. The Are you X? question. Fill X in with any other brown race you can think of. No, Im Pakistani! should be tattooed on my forehead.
10. The assumption that all Britpaks know each other. There are more than a million of us here. Although most of us come from the same region (i.e. somewhere in the Punjab), no I really dont know your doctor, taxi driver or the lady who taught you how to make a curry last year.
10 things I hate about being a British Pakistani – The Express Tribune
2. The lack of progression. Ive only been to Pakistan three times, but its clear our native Pakistani brethren are years ahead of us in terms of ideas, fashion and entertainment. Your women wear sleeveless kurtis with jeans, were still in patiala shalwars. Lets use our politicians as a crude metaphor: you have Hina Rabbani Khar, weve got Sayeeda Warsi.
3. The pitiful selection of spouses. Is it just me or are we facing a bit of a crisis here girls? It seems we have a few options. 1. The Cousin 2. The Rudeboy 3. The Mummys Boy who wont leave his postcode 4. The Imam wannabe 5. The Party Animal or 6. A mixture of 4 and 5, depending on which day of the week it is.
4. The need for role models. Apart from the boxer Amir Khan and he really doesnt have universal appeal we have none. Im not talking about successful people here, I mean genuinely famous ones. On the Wikipedia page for List of British Pakistanis our famous ones include a fictional television character, a Michael Jackson impersonator and someone called Nigel Le Vaillant.
5. The outrage at mixed marriages. We arrived in Britain a very long time ago. Aunties, Uncles, larkis and larkas, its natural that a few of us will marry white (or even black) people.
6. The feeling of inadequacy. Although British Pakistanis have formed a strong community of our own, the facts remain unchanged. We will always just be a bunch of BBCDs to real Pakistanis or a load of Pakis to the (far rightish) British people.
7. The invasion of privacy. My father has nicknamed one of my Aunties Radio Pakistan. You might have thought Twitter was the quickest way to spread information/gossip. That is, of course, until you meet this Aunty and many others like her.
8. The expectation that we can all speak Urdu. Jinnah didnt speak it well and desi films have subtitles now, so there are enough excuses not to be fluent. Dont be surprised that to some, Urdu might as well be Swahili.
9. The Are you X? question. Fill X in with any other brown race you can think of. No, Im Pakistani! should be tattooed on my forehead.
10. The assumption that all Britpaks know each other. There are more than a million of us here. Although most of us come from the same region (i.e. somewhere in the Punjab), no I really dont know your doctor, taxi driver or the lady who taught you how to make a curry last year.
10 things I hate about being a British Pakistani – The Express Tribune




